10 things to be ok with in your 30s or really at any age
By Ola Endress
"Its completely ok not to have your shit together"
❤ This one is important so I am putting this here: its completely ok, not to be ok. There are times in our lives where we want to just fall down onto our knees and just cry it out. Do it! let it all out and know that we don’t always have things under control, sometimes life throws a spanner at us even if its “nothing” but no matter how small, it is something and thats ok. Please know you are not alone, life isn't perfect however just be strong, cry it out and pick yourself up… even after you have eaten a whole tub of ice cream to yourself, it will all be ok (remember some situations are only temporary), just let it all go, breathe, meditate, have a bath, eat some delicious chocolate and I promise you what is happening now, will fade. You will pick yourself up again and you will be ok ❤
1. Its ok to not have yourself figured out yet, life is a journey and this process will take time. Even when you get close to figuring yourself out, you will most likely have more to learn about yourself and that is the beauty of our journey through life. Embrace change and embrace these shifts. We all go through different phases at different times. Be happy with who you are in the present moment and like a caterpillar entering a cocoon your process will turn into something amazing.
2.Its ok to not have your shit together - we were programmed since a young age to do things in a certain way (go to school, get a degree, then get a “proper job”) , its only until a shift changes within us that we wake up to then realise we were forced into something we never truly wanted to do. This can happen at any age but don’t be too hard on yourself, just follow your passion and do you! (I mean do you, don’t compare yourself to anyone else! we are all at different stages and there is no race or winner, the prize is you living your best life and giving it your all!)
3. Its completely ok to have lost your childhood, high school, work friends/ a majority of your friends throughout your 20s or even at any age (honestly). Including the ones you thought you would be friends with forever. Everyone is at different stages in their lives and you just outgrew them & levelled up (this is a good thing). Cherish the memories rather than looking at things negatively. Nothing was ever a waste, people come in to our lives for different reasons and lessons, teaching you different things along the way and this is all part of your journey! everything that happens, is always valuable to you!
4. Its ok to stay at home the whole entire day and do nothing. Heck even 2-3 days (after this please go get some fresh air!) Sometimes we need a self-care and it doesn’t have to mean a manicure, to go shopping or even going outside. Sometimes we just want to stay at home, be under the covers, pigging out and thats totally cool! its OK to just shut off from the world sometimes and its healthy to shut off once a while, I even encourage you to take a break off social media completely.
5. Its ok to be single in your 30’s. Again sometimes we outgrow the person we were with, they weren’t who they were when you first met them or they were in your life for a reason, for you to learn from it and move forward. There is no reason to be upset about being single or even scared that you will end up alone. Trust the timing of your life, things will happen when they are meant to, don’t force it and enjoy getting to know yourself again and doing things on your own terms. YOU DON’T need to fit into a mould that society has led you to believe.
6.You don’t have to have a family by a certain age let alone in your 30's. Are you kidding me? right now, stop putting this sort of pressure on yourself. No offence to anyone who has created a family at an early age but again don’t be hard on yourself. I am nearly 32 and the last thing I want right now is have children. Plenty of time for that and when you are truly ready, it will happen. Don’t just rush and get married to the first guy that becomes available or even settle for less because you think you should be doing it because women are “supposed” to bear children before they reach a certain age. There are women who are in their 40’s just having children now so don’t put pressure on yourself. Trust the timing, because in the end it will all work out the way you want it to & the way it is supposed to. TRUST!
7. Its ok to have changed careers for the millionth time. You don’t owe anyone an explanation, you don’t owe anyone anything! its not embarrassing, its not something people should look down on and most importantly you shouldn’t care what anyone thinks! I have lost count the amount of times I have had a job or even held a job for less than 1 day but I won't settle for doing something or choosing a career path in my heart I know is not right for me or that I want to be doing. Your calling or finding your passion can come at any time & at any age, you don't have to have all of this figured out right now!
8. You shouldn’t care about what anyone thinks - If you are doing things in a certain way or even acting in a certain way for people to like you, then you are setting yourself up for failure & plainly not being happy. Be honest with yourself and in situations. If you feel like you need validation from everything you do, then you are not living your life the way you are supposed to be living it! so just be! and just do! YOU!
9. Its ok to not be successful by 30+ - this one really annoys me. Again - you do not have to have your shit together! or be on any sort of "life" timeline. So many successful people today, did not get successful at all until they were 35+ even 40 and 50! (you get my drift) so don't stress yourself out! as previously mentioned, we are on a journey (our own one, no one else's but yours!) and we can discover the things we really want to do at any stage of our lives. So, as long as you are healthy, happy and have a roof over your head you are already successful compared to a majority of the rest of the world!
10. Its ok to have a completely different body shape compared to when you were 20. Our body goes through so many changes and obviously our metabolisms slow down.
Whatever you are doing, don’t ever compare your body to someone else's especially not on Instagram! Its good to have some motivation but if you are looking at a photo feeling depressed resulting in low self- esteem, please know that what you see on Instagram is not always real. Also to note whatever "feature" someone has that you want, you can have it! you can do anything you want these days (do what makes you happy! but read below first). If you want to lose weight then go to the gym and work for that body you desire! remember working out isn't just good for your body (especially your heart) its super good for your mental health! I feel so boss and so good when I work out, its a natural way to make you instantly happy.
If it is something else, I am all for you being happy but just note, so many people are going for the same look these days and just after being in Vegas for a weekend, I started looking at the same body shapes, the same facial features that it got so overwhelming for me that I felt like I was in some weird cartoon. Where are all the natural girls at? Trust me, just being you is enough! and being natural and happy with yourself is so beautiful! Wake up every morning and look in the mirror and tell yourself "I am beautiful & I am more than enough and today I am going to be the best version of myself that I can be". Don't ever let someone tell you that you are not beautiful, EVER! because you are :)
Breathe. Take your time. Live YOUR life. DO YOU and go after whatever it is you want!
If you ever need to talk - I am always here and happy to give advice or more importantly listen. All you need to do is send me a message on any platform and I will reply as soon as I can.
Stay tuned for the next article coming shortly.